Chasing Forever Read online

  Not wanting to spend time in her apartment, he stepped back into the hall. “We need to go if we want to make our reservations.”

  “I called and moved them back an hour,” she said, smiling. “We haven’t spent any time together lately.” She pointed to a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the coffee table. “I thought we’d have a drink before dinner and talk a little.”

  There was something he didn’t trust about her smile. He knew her well enough to know she had an agenda tonight, and that made him very uneasy because he had an agenda too and he didn’t think they were similar.

  He stuffed his hand into his pockets, refusing to step over her threshold again because something told him to keep his distance. He forced out a laugh. “Liv, you know I hate champagne.”

  “You do?” Her eyes narrowed. “Since when?”

  Suddenly exhausted with the whole night, Lucas ran his hands through his hair. “Look, Liv, I have to get up early. I’m slammed at work so tonight’s not the night for this. I planned to go to dinner. That’s it. I’m sorry if you had something else in mind.”

  “But this is my birthday dinner,” she protested.

  He should’ve told her to forget the whole thing, but he knew he needed to address their relationship tonight. He owed it to Regan. “Let’s go to the restaurant and see if they have a table. If not, we’ll have a drink at the bar and some appetizers.”

  “Are you mad about something?” she asked, grabbing her purse off the kitchen counter. “You’ve been distant lately.

  “No, that’s not it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “We’ll talk about it at dinner.”

  ***

  Lucas opened the door to the restaurant down the street from his apartment. He’d never eaten here before. He picked it because it was close to his house, and he would be home quickly after dinner. He had originally planned to meet Olivia here, but she called that afternoon asking him to pick her up. He should have known she was up to something, but he didn’t argue with her because he was afraid Regan would walk into his office, and then she’d know about their dinner plans and think the worst.

  As he approached the hostess stand, Olivia threaded her arm through his. Was she always like that and he failed to notice until now? This night couldn’t end soon enough for him. Maybe he’d call Regan when he finished dinner and they could meet up. She worked on Thursday nights, but he didn’t mind waiting for her to finish.

  “Do you have a reservation?” the hostess asked, interrupting his thoughts.

  “Yes. It’s under Evanston. We’re early.”

  “You’re in luck. We had a cancellation. Follow me.”

  The hostess sat them at a small two-top in the corner of the restaurant. It was a little too close to the kitchen for his taste, but he refused to prolong the evening by asking for a different table.

  “Your server will be with you shortly,” the hostess said as she placed menus on the table.

  Lucas opened his menu. He needed to have a serious talk about their friendship, but he didn’t know where to start.

  “Fourth of July is right around the corner,” Olivia said, placing her hand on top of his.

  He looked up, smiled, and put his hand in his lap. “It is.”

  “I thought we could drive to your parent’s house together. It’d be nice to have a couple hours alone before all the chaos of the holiday starts.”

  Frowning, he leaned back in his chair. Fuck. He had completely forgotten about the weekend at his parents’ house with Olivia’s family. “I don’t think I’m going this year.”

  “What do you mean? You’ve never missed it before. Well, not since the summer after we graduated from college.” She lowered her eyes as she fidgeted with the napkin in her lap. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something? Because you’ve been distant all evening.”

  “Liv, I’m not mad. It’s—”

  She looked up at him and he saw the tears simmering in the corners of her eyes. She dabbed her face with her napkin. “Lucas, I feel like you’re pulling away from me again, and I’ve waited for so long and I just thought that we could try things between us again. We’re older now. I think we’d be good for each other.”

  He grabbed her hand. When she looked small and vulnerable like this, she reminded him of the Olivia from their childhood before she became cold, selfish, and manipulative. He protected her when they were kids because she was shy and she’d always seemed so fragile to him. Their families had spent so much time together, it was natural, but it couldn’t happen anymore. Life had changed them both, and he didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t have her around him anymore. She was toxic.

  “Liv, we tried that in college. It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now.”

  She squeezed his hand. “We’re perfect for each other, and our parents would be so happy. If you give us a chance, you’d see.”

  ***

  “Regan, table number five is yours,” Parker called to her as she walked backwards out of the kitchen. Parker had been really nice all night, and she already felt a million times better knowing he didn’t hate her.

  Regan pointed at him. “You owe me.” Then she heard a familiar voice. Lucas. She didn’t remember telling him where she worked.

  A smile crossed her face. She’d happily wait on table number five if it meant spending time with Lucas. After brunch this afternoon, she hadn’t seen him before she left the office. Maybe he’d stay until her shift ended and they could do something together. She turned around, pushing her hair behind her ear and came face to face with Olivia Reynolds. Regan looked across the table at Lucas, then at their interlocked hands on top of the table.

  And in spite of everything she’d promised herself over the last six years, her face fell in disappointment. Lucas put his hand in his lap, but other than that, he looked completely at ease, his face totally unreadable. Asshole. She realized this was probably the gotcha moment she’d been afraid of since allowing Lucas to slither his way back into her life.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked quietly.

  Olivia smiled at Lucas adoringly, and for a second she thought she would be sick. “Regan, is that you?” Olivia asked. “I didn’t ever think I’d see you again.”

  No. I bet you didn’t. “Yes.”

  “So you’re a waitress now?” Olivia asked in her sugary sweet I’m-so-much-better-than-you voice.

  “Not really. I’m in law school and I waitress on Thursdays.”

  “Oh.” Olivia shifted in her chair. “Lucas is an attorney. He works at Martin and Black. I’m sure you’ve heard of that firm.”

  Regan turned to look at Lucas, and her vision narrowed on him. She took in a deep breath feeling like she couldn’t get enough oxygen in her lungs. What the fuck was wrong with him? Was he really going to do this to her again? He hadn’t said a single word. Her heart started racing. There was no way she’d play nice and serve Lucas and his precious Olivia dinner. “I have. If you’ll excuse me, I need—”

  “Regan works there too,” Lucas said, studying Regan’s face. She prayed she didn’t look as nauseous as she felt because right now she had the urge to vomit on their table. Maybe she should. “She’s one of the summer associates. I heard the partners are really impressed with her work. She’s a little rough around the edges, but she’ll be a great attorney wherever she ends up.”

  “Oh,” Olivia said, glancing between them. “Lucas never mentioned you. I guess he doesn’t have much contact with summer associates, though.”

  “Right,” Lucas said noncommittally.

  Swallowing the acid rising in her stomach, she directed her attention on her black peep toe heels, studying the red polish on her toes. She’d fallen in love with Lucas for the second time in her life, and now he was dismissing her like she meant nothing to him. She was a fool.

  Alrighty then. She’d had more than enough of this reunion, and of Lucas Evanston. Some people never changed. Apparently, Lucas hadn’t and neith
er had she. She was the same dumb naïve girl who succumbed to his lethal charm a second time. She pasted a phony smile on her face and pushed her hair behind her ear. “I’ll give you some time to decide. I need to check on one of my orders. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  Without waiting for a response, she turned and fled toward the kitchen.

  “Regan. Wait.”

  She was only two steps from the kitchen and one second from bursting into tears when she heard him call her name.

  She froze when she felt his hands on her shoulders. He gently squeezed her shoulders. Under normal circumstances, the gesture would comfort her, but it felt entirely wrong.

  “It’s not what you’re thinking,” he whispered, his voice anxious and thick with emotion. “Before you overreact, give me a chance to explain.”

  She sucked in a ragged breath and bit her lip hard to stop it from trembling. She didn’t need an explanation. She needed to get the hell away from him. She hated him. She loved him. She was fucked…again.

  He leaned closer and his breath tickled her neck giving her goose bumps. Her body was a traitor. Lucas was the enemy. “Can I come over after your shift? We can talk in private.”

  Regan lowered her face hiding the silent tears burning her eyes with a vengeance. “I have plans, and you have a date.” She stepped out of his hold, pushing the door to the kitchen open, eager to get as much space as possible between her and table five.

  The door barely shut before the tears started racing down her face. Frantically, she ran to the locker area, searching for her purse. She needed a tissue.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” she mumbled under her breath as she not so gently tossed aside her jacket, a scarf, and a bunch of random items she’d never bothered to remove from her locker.

  The lack of organization in her locker wasn’t the problem. The real problem was sitting twenty feet away having a romantic dinner with her nemesis, the woman who had ripped her life apart, starting with her family and then moving on to her.

  She groaned thinking of what a complete and utter fool she’d made of herself during the past week with Lucas.

  She’d never fully understand how she’d become so deluded over the past week to believe that Lucas cared about her and regretted what he did six years ago.

  She’d felt like such a fool standing there, staring at them while Lucas so charmingly held Olivia’s hand across the table. What a fucking cute picture. When he said he could explain, there were a thousand things on the tip of her tongue just waiting to be unleashed. Evil, vindictive things. Instead, she resisted because what did it matter anyway? They could profess their love for each other a thousand times, but at the end of the day, there were too many skeletons in the Lucas and Regan closet. Truth be told, whatever they had or didn’t have was best left in the past.

  She could rant and curse at Lucas for days, but she only had herself to blame. She gave her trust to a man who’d crushed her without a thought six years ago. She should have known better. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her from feeling like a piece of her barely mended heart had been ripped out of her chest for the second time.

  Just briefly, her mind drifted back to Lucas, their trip, and all the nice little gestures he’d made this summer. There was just something about that man—maybe his smile, his voice, or his walk—that drew her in and didn’t let go. Since she met him six years ago, every other guy seemed like a cheap intimation, but no more. She needed to move on.

  “Bastard,” she mumbled, dropping her head into her hands and wiping the tears from her face.

  “Regan, what’s going on?”

  Whirling around, she saw Parker standing behind her, a confused look on his face. Seeing his beautiful, kind eyes and open smile, she wondered what mental deficiency caused her to choose Lucas over him because only an insane person would have done what she did.

  “Can you take table five tonight? I don’t think I can do it.” Her voice shook, so she swallowed hard, trying to bury her emotions. She needed to be numb to finish her shift without turning into a blithering fool.

  He stepped a little closer and ran his fingertip across her cheek. “You’ve been crying.”

  She nodded. “Yes, but I’m finished now. If you take table five, I’ll be fine…I promise,” she added when she saw the skeptical on his face.

  “Did they yell at you?”

  “I wish.”

  “Huh?” he said, cocking his head to the side.

  “Lucas is sitting at table number five.”

  “So?”

  “With the lovely Olivia Reynolds. The woman who basically shattered my life the last time Lucas and I dated.”

  He pulled her close and hugged her. “We can switch. You can have table eight, and I’ll take five, but maybe you should go home. I could call Renee. She lives close by. Maybe she’d cover your shift.”

  “No.” She stepped back. “I have to do this. I can’t cower from the situation again. Last time, I transferred schools. This time, I’m going to walk out there and pretend he doesn’t mean a thing to me.”

  “Good for you. Did you take their drink order?” he asked, walking to the kitchen door.

  “No. I didn’t get that far.”

  He leaned his back against the door. “Well, if we were younger and significantly less mature, I’d suggest we spit in their drinks.”

  Regan laughed. “Oh, and Parker, if you still want me to go with you this weekend, I will. That is…unless you’ve already invited someone else.”

  Parker looked deep into her eyes, a faint smile teasing his lips. “Are you sure?”

  Regan nodded. “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Later that night, after he dropped Olivia off, Lucas sat in bed, leaning against his dark leather headboard. When Regan’s friend, Parker, came to their table and revealed that he’d be their server for the remainder of the evening, Lucas knew he’d completely screwed up everything with Regan. She’d never let him explain.

  Lucas told Parker they’d changed their mind and weren’t hungry. Parker actually had the nerve to laugh at that announcement as if he knew something Lucas didn’t, and he probably did because as they got up to leave he watched Regan deliver drinks to a nearby table. She couldn’t even be bothered to glance in his direction. Not that he could blame her. He’d fucked up and not in the small forgivable way. Dinner with Olivia should have never happened.

  Groaning, Lucas ran his fingers through his hair. Instead of wrapping everything up in a nice neat bow as he intended at the beginning of the night, his life had exploded. Olivia went crazy when he told her they couldn’t be friends or anything else anymore. She threatened and yelled at him the entire drive home and instead of feeling bad for her as he had in the past, he begrudged every second he wasted on her at dinner and every day before that. Letting her back in his life five years ago was a big mistake.

  When she demanded an explanation, he couldn’t bring himself to admit who he was dating, even when Olivia asked if it had anything to do with Regan. There were a million reasons why he couldn’t share that information, but mostly he did it to protect Regan. Olivia had destroyed her life before, and he wouldn’t put it past her to do it again, even if it meant taking him down in the process. After all, Olivia only cared about herself. He realized that now.

  And Regan…he wouldn’t be surprised if she never talked to him again. Since dropping Olivia off at her house an hour ago, he’d texted and called Regan no less than ten times, and despite his hopes to the contrary, he didn’t believe she’d call or text him back. That didn’t stop him from leaving his cell phone on his nightstand in case she experienced a moment of weakness.

  He was tempted to spend the night waiting on her doorstep. Like a stalker, he actually circled her block a few times, but he didn’t think he’d maintain his sanity if she didn’t come home, so he left. Not that he had much luck remaining calm when his imagination wouldn’t stop taunting him.

  In the stifling loneliness of his r
oom, he acknowledged that he had inadvertently handed Parker an opening with Regan a mile wide and, if he were Parker, he’d do everything in his power to exploit it. Women like Regan were few and far between—smart, beautiful, funny, determined, and hard working. He often forgot she was still in law school, with how well she comprehended everything and kept up with his punishing schedule. In college, he’d thought she was like a breath of fresh air, now he knew she was that and much more.

  He checked his phone one more time, just in case it freakishly failed to make noise or vibrate. Nothing. Granted, it was now two in the morning, but there was no way in hell Regan was sleeping either unless…she was cuddled happily in Parker’s open arms. Fuck. He couldn’t think like that.

  Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough. He’d wait in her office and refuse to leave until she heard him out. He didn’t care who heard as long as she gave him ten, no five fucking minutes of her time. She needed to understand.

  ***

  Lucas normally arrived at the office no earlier than six-thirty, but today he walked through the front doors at six. He didn’t want to take the chance Regan would get there before him and retreat to her office, locking the door.

  After dropping off his briefcase and turning on his computer, he placed her double shot cappuccino on her desk and waited in the chair in her office. When forty-five minutes elapsed, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his emails.

  At seven-thirty, the staff and other attorneys started moving around the office, phones began ringing, and burned coffee from the break room permeated the air. He bounced his leg up and down nervously. This was ridiculous. Where the hell was Regan? She’d never been this late before.

  Five minutes later, Annabelle walked into Regan’s office.

  “What are you doing in here?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

  “I needed to discuss some work with Regan. Do you know where she is?” He grabbed Regan’s cappuccino from the desk and stood up.