Chasing Forever Read online

  Luckily, she didn’t have any food in her mouth. She might have choked, and that would have been embarrassing. Would Lucas bother to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her or would he let her die? Judging from his behavior six years ago, he probably wouldn’t lift a finger to help her. He was that big of an asshole. “I hope so,” she responded flatly, because what else could she say?

  “You don’t have to be so formal. Do you like working with Lucas?” he persisted, wagging his finger between the two of them.

  “Well, um…” she said stalling for time. She couldn’t blurt out the million and one reasons why working with Lucas was anything but lucky, so she settled for a vague answer that meant nothing. “He impressed me in the deposition today.” She could tell from his deposition that he was smart, brilliant even, but she suspected that six years ago too. She didn’t need to sit through a deposition with him to learn that. It was one of the reasons she found him so attractive when they met. Now, however, it was one of the reasons she hated him. “I guess that makes me lucky to be working with him this summer.”

  Lucas squeezed her leg under the table and she briefly fantasized about bending his fingers backward, but she shifted away from him instead. “I think you’ll be impressed with Regan too,” Lucas said, smiling at her and then turning back to Jack. “She’ll be supporting me and Richard this summer. Everyone in the firm is excited she accepted the position. We have high expectations and from what I’ve seen so far, I think she’ll exceed them.”

  Smiling, Jack nodded his head in her direction, then returned his attention to Lucas. “The deposition went well. Don’t you think?”

  “I’ll have to review it in detail, but I think Michael Anderson came close to admitting that North Relief contacted Peterson before the dissolution of the partnership. What do you think?” Lucas asked, turning toward Regan.

  With two sets of eyes boring into her, she forced herself to concentrate on the conversation instead of Lucas’s earlier comment. Since when did a senior attorney ask a summer associate her opinion of a deposition in front of the client? Almost never or at least that’s what she assumed, but what did she know. She hadn’t been a summer associate before. “I think you’re right, but he did try to downplay the idea North Relief made an offer or that they had mentioned any mine in particular.”

  “He did,” Lucas answered quickly. “But I’m not sure that matters. And once we receive the business records we subpoenaed, he might clarify. I couldn’t get him to answer the question clearly.”

  ***

  An hour and thirty minutes later, Regan sat in a chair in front of Lucas’s desk, yellow notepad in hand, listening to Lucas rattle off a list of a hundred things she needed to complete in the next few weeks. Her hand cramped uncomfortably trying to document every word coming out of his mouth. She wanted to ask him to slow down, but she’d rather die than admit that she couldn’t keep up with him.

  On the drive back to the office, Lucas hardly said two words to her. She wondered if she had made some sort of mistake during lunch. She ran through her limited contributions to the conversation, but nothing obvious popped out at her. Thinking back to college, she remembered his mercurial moods. One minute he acted like he couldn’t get enough of her and then other times he looked right through her.

  Sadly, she should have realized his attention was part of a game. When his friends were around, he hardly acknowledged her, but when it was the two of them, the things he said and did had her eating out of his hand, quite literally. With the power of all his charismatic charm focused on her, she actually felt interesting and desirable. She loved when he would absently twist her hair around his finger while they talked. Just the thought of it made her shiver. She was totally pathetic, but she learned her lesson. She rolled her pen between her hands and straightened her spine.

  “Regan, are you listening?” Lucas asked, his voice terse.

  “Huh?” She lifted her head to look at him.

  “Did you hear a word I said?”

  She nodded blankly.

  “About the research I need you to finish in the next couple days?” he clarified.

  “Um, yes.” Her mind scrambled to recall the details of the conversation. Blank. Shit. Her mind was completely and utterly blank. What could she say? She was daydreaming about his moods, how she loved when he played with her hair, how he used to ignore her. God no. She would rather be fired than admit she thought about him ever. “Actually, I was thinking about the deposition today.” She tapped her pen on her paper searching for anything intelligent to say. “Have you considered whether Michael Anderson and Peterson might have a social connection?”

  Lucas stared at her, his face enigmatic and then he leaned back in his chair. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t you think it’s kind of strange that North Relief showed up out of the blue and made an offer on a mine they didn’t know anything about?”

  “Other mines in the area have been reopened. I’m sure they realized that. It wasn’t a secret.”

  “Sure, but maybe Peterson approached North Relief. In the deposition, Anderson emphatically stated the company didn’t initiate contact with Peterson prior to the dissolution of the partnership or contact Peterson in an official capacity.”

  “Hmm.…” Lucas leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his desk. “So why would a social connection between Peterson and Anderson be relevant?”

  Regan pushed her hair out of her face. “What if the conversation occurred in a social context, at a party or other event, and then Peterson initiated the dissolution of the partnership based on that conversation?”

  “It’s possible. I’ll discuss it with Richard and Jack.” Lucas swiveled his chair toward his laptop. “I think you have enough to work on. Email me any questions.”

  “Okay.” She started walking toward the door, then she remembered she had to work tonight. “Lucas?”

  “Yeah,” he responded without looking at her.

  “Do you mind if I leave at five tonight? Well, tonight and every Thursday night?”

  “Why?” he asked, turning to look at her with narrowed eyes.

  Regan fidgeted with the cuff of her white blouse, then hastily clasped her hands behind her back when she realized what she was doing. “I have this thing on Thursday nights. A job actually. I work at a restaurant too. I’d like to keep the job through the summer so I don’t have to find a new one when school starts in the fall. It’s just one shift.” She hated that her voice sounded as if she were pleading with him.

  “As long as you finish your work, I don’t care what time you leave, but other people will watch your hours so keep that in mind. Like any other law firm in this city, the partners make a big deal out of face time.” Lucas started typing on his computer again, effectively dismissing her from his office.

  ***

  That afternoon, Regan called her mom to talk. She felt bad when she’d left Texas in such a hurry after the Lucas debacle, but her mom understood. She knew Regan would continue to wither away if she stayed there. Still, she regretted deserting her mom after her parents’ marriage fell apart, and she made a point to call her at least twice a week and visit her whenever she had the time.

  Her mom was the only person she had talked to about Lucas, and in a strange twist of fate, they bonded more than they had her entire childhood. Initially the conversation was uncomfortable because her dad’s actions with Olivia had hurt her and her mom, but in the end, they had each other and that helped both of them heal and move on.

  “Hey, sweetie,” came her mom’s familiar voice.

  “Hey, Mom. How is everything?”

  “Good, John and I are going to dinner tonight so I don’t have much time to talk.”

  “That’s great. I can’t wait for you to share all the details.” Her mom started dating a man from work a couple months ago, and although it made her uncomfortable, she liked that her mom had moved on and found someone else, even if it was temporary. She deserved some happiness.

&nb
sp; Her mom laughed. “Not all the details.”

  Eww. She didn’t ever want any of those details. “Definitely not.”

  “How’s the new job?”

  “Good,” she answered unenthusiastically. “I like it.” Her mom had begged her to go back to Texas for the summer. She even arranged a summer associate position for her at her best friend’s law firm. She missed her mom and she even considered it before Martin and Black offered her a position, but she didn’t want to live in Texas. It held too many bad memories. Too bad those memories caught up with her anyway. Maybe Texas was the better option.

  “Regan, what’s wrong? Is it that bad?”

  Regan put her head on her desk and groaned. Her mother had the uncanny ability of knowing whenever something was wrong with her. She couldn’t hide anything from her. “Mom,” she whispered, “Lucas works at Martin and Black.”

  Her mom didn’t respond for a few prolonged seconds and Regan feared she’d have to repeat herself. She could only stomach saying it once.

  “Lucas Evanston?” her mom questioned in a hushed tone as though saying his name would send her into a tailspin, and in the early days, it would have, but she was better than that now.

  “Yes.” There had only been one Lucas in her life, only one Lucas who’d pushed her into a dark deep hole, only one Lucas who’d irreparably changed the course of her life.

  “I’ll call Martha tomorrow to see if she still has a position at her firm. You can quit today or give notice. It’s your choice. I'll support you.”

  She lifted her head from the desk. “No, I’m not going back to Texas. I can’t walk out on this position. I’d ruin my career before it even started.”

  “So what? Martha would hire you in a second after you graduate. You don’t need to torture yourself.”

  Regan tapped her fingers on her desk. As tempting as running home to her mom sounded, she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t run away again. If she had any self-respect, she would stick with this until the end, even if it meant seeing him five or more days a week. “No. It’s not bad. Seeing him shocked me, but I’m over it. I should have researched the firm better. I didn’t. Now, I have to deal with it. ”

  Her mom sighed. “Don’t be silly. You don’t have to deal with it. You have options.”

  “I realize that, but right now I want to stick it out.” She lowered her voice. “I don’t want him to know how bad he hurt me. I can’t run again.”

  “Okay.” Her mom relented after a few moments. “From what you told me, Martin and Black is a big firm. You probably won’t see him much and it’s only a couple months,” her mother stated with forced cheer, and she could tell she didn’t believe what she was saying. “You’re strong. You can do this. I believe in you.”

  Regan groaned. “That’s the tricky part. He’s my mentor.”

  “Oh, Regan,” her mom said, drawing out her name, and she could almost see her mother shaking her head in disapproval. “I know you think you have to make this work, but you’re smart, beautiful, and you’ll have a great career with or without Martin and Black. You don’t need to work with him. You don’t have anything to prove.”

  “Mom, it was a long time ago,” she said, trying to convince her mom and give herself a little pep talk at the same time because the words sounded false even to her own ears. “I can’t hide anymore. If I stay in San Francisco, I need to get over my past and I’d rather do it now than in five years in a courtroom in front of a judge and jury.”

  Her mom sighed. “I don’t like this, but it’s your life. As much as I’d like to, I can’t make your decisions for you.”

  Regan rolled her eyes and then noticed the time. “Can I call you later? I need to be at the restaurant in forty-five minutes.”

  “All right. Talk to you soon…and Regan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Maybe you should smudge your office with some sage to clear out the negative energy and replenish it with some positive healing energy. I think it would really help.”

  Regan burst out laughing. Her mother embraced every alternative healing and spiritual practice she could get her hands on. She could imagine what the partners would think if she waved a burning hunk of pot-like smelling sage in her office, possibly setting off the smoke alarms in the process. “I think I’ll take my chances.”

  “Okay, but if you change your mind, I’ll send you some information on performing a smudging ceremony.”

  “Thanks, mom.”

  “If you need me, you can call anytime. I’ll always be there for you.”

  She knew it. “Bye,” she said, smiling as she disconnected her phone.

  Chapter Eight

  “Table eight asked for the desert menu,” Parker said.

  Regan barely looked up from her phone. She’d been responding to random emails all night. She hadn’t seen Lucas in person in over two weeks, which didn’t bother her in the least. Well, that wasn’t totally true. She saw him from a distance in the hallway twice and once when she walked by his office. Lucas’s preferred method of communication, via email, suited her just fine. It saved her from falling victim to his perfectly dimpled smile, not that that would happen again…ever. She’d been bitten by Lucas’s charm once and she considered herself impervious to all of his machinations.

  “I’m on it,” Regan responded distractedly, barely looking up from her phone as she grabbed two dessert menus.

  “You know, if you keep staring at your phone and ignoring your tables, you’ll barely have any tips to show for your time, and you promised to buy me a drink after our shift ends.” Parker grinned at her.

  She liked Parker. They went to law school together and most of her female classmates admired his golden blond hair and friendly blue eyes. She did too. It was hard not to, but she didn’t have time for a relationship now. She was focused on building her career.

  “Oh shit. I forgot about that,” she said over her shoulder as she hurried to table eight.

  “The answer’s no,” Parker shot back.

  She handed the menus to the couple at table eight and walked back to Parker. “What do you mean the answer’s no?”

  Parker tapped her on her nose. “No, you’re not pushing it off until next week again.” He snatched her phone from her front pocket and opened her email. “You can tell,” he scrolled through her phone, “Lucas Evanston of Martin and Black that you have other things to do than respond to his emails all night.” He handed her phone back to her.

  She laughed. “Hey, I think you just invaded my right to privacy.”

  “Me, no. Mr. Big Shot Evanston, yes. It’s almost nine o’clock at night and he’s still emailing and texting you.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially. “I think he might be becoming a little too attached to you—codependent even. You need to stop it in its tracks before he takes over your life.”

  Regan rolled her eyes. She couldn’t imagine Lucas having any dependency issues, particularly any relating to her. “Whatever. He’s my boss, and you know how much I’d love to be offered an associate position at Martin and Black. That means I have to be available at all times, even in the middle of the night if necessary.”

  “No, you don’t. You’re brilliant, and if they don’t offer you a position at the end of the summer, a hundred other firms in San Francisco will, and it would be Martin and Black’s loss, not yours.”

  Parker was nice, almost too nice. Sometimes she wondered if it was all an act. He was all sunshine, no hard edges, mercurial moods, or insanely addictive charisma like a certain other male she knew. Regan pushed the thought out of her mind. She wouldn’t think of Lucas other than in a professional capacity. “Maybe you’re right, but Martin and Black is one of the top-rated firms in San Francisco. They have the best corporate litigation department, and I have a shot at being hired by them if I play my cards right.” She lowered her voice. “And have you seen what they pay? It’d go a long way toward paying off my student loans.”

  Parker shook his head. “Contrary to the bullshit they
’re feeding you, they’re not the only game in town. Don’t forget it.”

  Parker didn’t care about the whole law firm thing. He wanted to work for the district attorney’s office, prosecuting criminals. Regan never understood the draw. Managing the emotional rollercoaster of the criminal justice system sounded horrible. Nope. She would take a dry corporate case any day over the life of a prosecutor.

  “I know.” Regan looked toward her section of the restaurant. “Customers are calling.”

  Parker followed her into the dining area. “Drinks at ten-thirty. No excuses. We can go to the bar down the street.”

  “All right, but only one drink. I can’t roll into the office at six-thirty in the morning hung over.”

  Parker smiled, his blue eyes dancing animatedly. “Just a drink or two, nothing more.”

  ***

  An hour and a half later, Parker and Regan walked into the bar at the end of the street. They managed to find two seats at the end of the bar.

  “What are you drinking tonight, Miss Pierce?” Parker asked, leaning his shoulder against hers.

  “A vodka and soda with a twist of lemon,” Regan replied, reaching for her phone again. She hadn’t checked her email in over an hour. Parker had forced her to turn it off earlier.

  He signaled the bartender. “Two vodka and sodas with a twist of lemon.” He turned to Regan. “Does Kettle One work for you?”

  She nodded as she turned on her phone. Within seconds, Parker snatched the phone out of her hand. “Are you trying to crush my ego? You finally agree to go out with me and you’re already reaching for your phone like I’m incapable of keeping your attention.” He smiled, trying to soften his comment.

  Regan briefly covered her face with her hands. “You’re right. I’m being unforgivably rude.” She could ignore her email for another hour or so and Parker was really nice, perfect actually. If she listed all things she wanted in a boyfriend, Parker might fulfill them all. Too bad she had never been able to convince herself to take the next step with him. She probably could attribute her aversion to relationships to the fact Lucas had pulverized her heart and her ability to trust, but she wouldn’t be too hard on herself about that. Believing she and Lucas had a meaningful relationship one day and finding out he had orchestrated a twisted plan for revenge the next would wound even the most hardened heart.